Friday, August 10, 2012

Getting back into me

Update on me: i start school in august, going back to church soon, & im still married. Getting married is easy but honestly staying married is the task ! Dont get me wrong i LOVE  being able to be with one person who proclaims to love & appreciate me, but its the trials that makes things rocky. You find out things about your partner that was hidden while you were dating and lies that were told and sometimes you feel a world of emotion because you dont know whether to bring it up or hold it in(different story for a different time). Honestly any couple that is getting married or are newlyweds ....GET COUNSELING !!! it will be needed ! Its a great feeling to be able to express your feelings to your partner in a controlled enviorment with a mentor who isint "playing sides" ...i mean you can talk to your friends about whats going on... Why cant you talk to someone who is more willing to help ??

Anyway ive been dealing with alot personally, but im working on myself...  I want to get back independent, im ready to get myself back on track so i know if anything (God forbid) was to happen...i know where i stand... no ! I'm not saying I'm trying to leave my husband and make him feel like he's not needed... but sometimes I feel like things won't get done unless I put it in my own hands & in this way I can find who I am again in the process. I use to love my life now I feel like I'm just "here", somebody to occupy time. I'm excited for the change I'm trying to make I realize people who mean the most me either lie to me to keep me around..or they just tell me what I want to hear not to loose me and hurt my feelings ... idk but I'm ready for much needed chance .. going back to school & church is a on to looking for a job ! Oh yeah I'm going back to the gym every so often too !! I'm loving it..I'm a great girl & I don't need anybody to tell me that.. the only thing that will hold me down is if I get knocked up... I'm definately dodging that bullet !! I'm not trying to slow down for nothing ... bout to hit my 20's I have a life to live !!!.... toodles (just thought you should know about my updates) :o)

Friday, April 20, 2012

Baby Fever !!!!

ok sooo i havent posted on here in awhile and all, my life got hectic for a second ( well not that much ) but enough. my man is back from NTC, && we got married on April 12th soo im elated when it comes to that, but thats not really what ive been wanting to talk about. soo question ?? why is it that when you find yourself in a long term relationship, you get asked when the kids come ? i mean really you would be shocked if you knew how many people asked me when my family was going to start. for a moment it hit me. i had baby fever, the more people who asked me about it, the more i was drawn in to wanting a baby. i mean i felt so odd ALL my friends are either working on their second kid or just had one. and its so odd because everytime me and my friends get together the convo ALWAYS drifts off into their "babys daddys" or how crazy their "baby mommas" is, im always left out cause i cant relate to any of it  ! Soo yeah i got caught up, and it became so ironic that the opprotunity came up that my B.C (birth control) messed up and i had to get off them until it was time to start a new pack, so if anything that had been the perfect time. this was it ! i wanted a baby, but i was kinda nervous to tell my husband, cause he really wouldve wanted to know what had gotten into me and that would have probably detoured him from wanting to have sex, so i kept my feelings inside. gladly i snapped out of the baby fever !!! whew !!

im not saying that i wont ever fall into it again, tomorrow i may look into my husbands eyes while where in the middle of our session and feel like im ready for one again, im just saying it just dawned on me the other day that i just might not be "mommy material" yet. im soo busy thinking for everyone else, that i forget about me. ive gotten so bad that ill walk in the store, see something that i want, consider buying it but i dont because i seen a shirt that my sister will love or a watch that'll look good on my man. it probably doesnt make since to you while your reading this, but if i cant put myself first now, im going to be burnt out and ready to call quits on everything by the time the baby is 3 (ok maybe im thinking too hard into this), but seriously. i look at my mom and shes soo stressed, she doesnt even know what to do with herself because shes too busy caring for others. my mom got pregnant with me at 16 and shes now 36 with 4 more children and in her face you can just see that "tired" look on her face.

i just dont think im the right "mom" for the job right now... alot say i am, because im so generous and i think about everyone, so they KNOW my child will be well taken care of.. TRUE STORY my child will, promise you that, but will i ? when im confident enough to answer that question then thats when ill have my child :o)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Staying "Army Strong"

So my baby has been in NTC(National Training Center) what feels like forever, but its only been about 3 weeks, but i miss him ! ... we haven't been able to talk like we use to but i still manage to get a "one minute" sneak call in or a sneak text or two, the point being...WE STILL communicate but not lately. I havent heard from him in three days, not heads up or anything. i know you other army wives are probably laughing at me because i said three days, but bare with me im new to this lifestyle.... me and Brandon have been INSEPARABLE since we first started dating. whether we saw each other, oovoo'd, facebook'd or even sent each other text messages we still managed to keep in contact. he calls me every break he gets and i fell hard for those things(yes ! i know we broke up at one point, but we still ended up talking to each other... you could feel the tension and anger, but we still talked) now its been three long days with me having no idea when i will get another call or text has taken a toll on me, emotionally/physically. the main problem is i had no time to brace myself for this. ive been having sleepless nights ( im scared to fall asleep and not be able to wake up to receive his phone call) and ive been" in my feelings" about everything. im always on the verge of tears or crying, im startig to find myself doing the things he does when were together like sleeping with no pants on (sounds crazy i know). i have tried taking the other wives advice and started getting out more, but like everything else that hasnt seemed to work either. im either telling the whole world "what Eady would be doing if he where here" or just not wanting to be involved in what im doing because i am constantly checking my phone for any "missed calls" from him. these days have felt like months, and im just dying inside becuase i just HAVE to know how he is feeling, but i cant :'(

This is my bracelet... i cherish it like its worth a million dollars. i have been wearing it everyday since hes been gone. i eat, sleep, go out, and even work out with it on... im not taking it off until he comes back home. Every time i look at it, it reminds me of the times we have laughed together. it reminds me of the crazy things me and him do when we are together. (if you are wondering what the charm says, it says: "my soldier makes my <3 go BOOM) i know you smiled when you read that, i smile too when i read it !

I cant wait to order mines soon !!!! i have been wanting one sooo badly, i would love more than anything to keep something of him close to my heart daily ! ( if any of you would like to know where to get this ill post a link at the bottom of the page where you can purchase one. hopefully money is right and i will purchase me and him one, so if her does so happen to get deployed, he doesnt have to look in his wallet to find where his heart is 

Its the little things like this (the bracelet, the dog tags that keeps me going on the times i cant hear from him.. He makes me so Happy if only you all whos reading this really knew ! what do you all do to keep yourselves staying "army strong" while he is away ??

* ill do another blog with a list all all the good sites to go to to represent you soldier :o)

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Dont Take Life For Granted

Keewee Bland
this was my family today (uncle, aunt, grandaddy & two baby cousins) 10 people dies and my family are ok ( my grandad is still hospitalized but HES ALIVE ! GOD IS AWESOME !

Military Girl

Thought this was awsome..u will understand.. only if your spouse is military lol :)

1.) If she wasn’t emotional before, that is all about to change.

2.) You getting a higher rank could just mean an automatic free lay.

3.) Get her a pair of dog tags, ASAP, This is crucial, she will never take them off.

4.) Most of the time, you losing reception during training is your fault. (Though, she will eventually understand)

5.) Most of the time, everything is your fault. (This especially goes for when she is pregnant)

6.) She WILL start talking like your guys and you talk, including using your last names.

7.) Her patriotism could out-do most of your men… she will be proud… VERY proud.

8.) Be Ready: your car will end up with a yellow ribbon magnet or an “I LOVE MY _____” sticker eventually. (if you have seperate cars, hers will DEFINITLY have these)

9.) She will most likely need a pair of dog tags to hang from the car’s rear view mirror. (see 3)

10.) Every week she’ll have “another song” that makes her think of you when you’re away. (And she’ll cry to it, even when you’re in the same room)

11.) If youre married, she may know the base better than you do… Don’t take it personal.

12.) You will catch her comparing your relationship with “other couples” in the military constantly.

13.) She’ll make 5 million friends online, and talk to you about them all the time because her “old friends just don’t understand” like they do.

14.) Don’t be shocked when she just drops civilian chicks out of her life like flies. (she mostly does this when they complain to her)

15.) DO NOT if you love her, say anything about you not wanting to make her wait for you… (TRUST me men, YOU ARE WORTH every breath to these women, or they wouldn’t be here)

16.) Most women actually do LOVE it when you are sweaty and dirty, even the girlie girls. it’s sexy as hell.

17.) Only bring up the field once, say it clear, and don’t bring it up again. We will remember the time, the dates, like stone inside our mind. Don’t remind us.

18.) You ARE our hero. That isn’t us being cute, it’s us swelling with pride, feeling like a princess everytime we glance over and you’re standing there.

19.) Don’t worry about waking her up when you get a chance to call, trust me, she’s NOT sleeping. If she is, she’s been waiting for you to call all night, and fell asleep next to the phone.

20.) Leave at least 3 of your shirts for her… she’ll wear them all the time and if she doesn’t wear them out she WILL wear them to sleep.

21.) No matter what she was like before, she is tough & harder than a rock now. She can handle anything, she will get through it, tears or no tears.

22.) Don’t be discouraged or taken back from her strength. It comes with the territory. When in your arms, she’s still your queen, soft and sweet.

23.) Your kids might see mommy as the one in charge for a while, it’s okay, they WILL respect you, just give it time.

24.) EVERYTHING in her life will be complicated, so she might not always get the simple things you say to her.

25.) Tag Chasers are her WORST enemy, she CAN and WILL spot these girls… random profain comments may come out of your little queens’ mouth… its okay, shes protecting her best asset…you.

26.) She will spend hours to look good on cam & pics for you, this is just a pasttime until you get home, be prepared for messy ponytails and comfy pants when you finally do get home.

27.) Her favorite sentences from you start with “when i get home” or “when i get out”.

Lastly guys,

28.) No matter how much she’s changed, never forget that you mean the world to her, she loves you more than anything, and you will ALWAYS be her hero..whether you think you are one or not.

Monday, January 2, 2012

our song(he doesnt know it yet) lol

i ran across this song about an hour ago && it has been on repeat since !! dedicating this song to my love.... ily EADY <3