Friday, August 10, 2012

Getting back into me

Update on me: i start school in august, going back to church soon, & im still married. Getting married is easy but honestly staying married is the task ! Dont get me wrong i LOVE  being able to be with one person who proclaims to love & appreciate me, but its the trials that makes things rocky. You find out things about your partner that was hidden while you were dating and lies that were told and sometimes you feel a world of emotion because you dont know whether to bring it up or hold it in(different story for a different time). Honestly any couple that is getting married or are newlyweds ....GET COUNSELING !!! it will be needed ! Its a great feeling to be able to express your feelings to your partner in a controlled enviorment with a mentor who isint "playing sides" ...i mean you can talk to your friends about whats going on... Why cant you talk to someone who is more willing to help ??

Anyway ive been dealing with alot personally, but im working on myself...  I want to get back independent, im ready to get myself back on track so i know if anything (God forbid) was to happen...i know where i stand... no ! I'm not saying I'm trying to leave my husband and make him feel like he's not needed... but sometimes I feel like things won't get done unless I put it in my own hands & in this way I can find who I am again in the process. I use to love my life now I feel like I'm just "here", somebody to occupy time. I'm excited for the change I'm trying to make I realize people who mean the most me either lie to me to keep me around..or they just tell me what I want to hear not to loose me and hurt my feelings ... idk but I'm ready for much needed chance .. going back to school & church is a on to looking for a job ! Oh yeah I'm going back to the gym every so often too !! I'm loving it..I'm a great girl & I don't need anybody to tell me that.. the only thing that will hold me down is if I get knocked up... I'm definately dodging that bullet !! I'm not trying to slow down for nothing ... bout to hit my 20's I have a life to live !!!.... toodles (just thought you should know about my updates) :o)