Baby Fever !!!!

ok sooo i havent posted on here in awhile and all, my life got hectic for a second ( well not that much ) but enough. my man is back from NTC, && we got married on April 12th soo im elated when it comes to that, but thats not really what ive been wanting to talk about. soo question ?? why is it that when you find yourself in a long term relationship, you get asked when the kids come ? i mean really you would be shocked if you knew how many people asked me when my family was going to start. for a moment it hit me. i had baby fever, the more people who asked me about it, the more i was drawn in to wanting a baby. i mean i felt so odd ALL my friends are either working on their second kid or just had one. and its so odd because everytime me and my friends get together the convo ALWAYS drifts off into their "babys daddys" or how crazy their "baby mommas" is, im always left out cause i cant relate to any of it  ! Soo yeah i got caught up, and it became so ironic that the opprotunity came up that my B.C (birth control) messed up and i had to get off them until it was time to start a new pack, so if anything that had been the perfect time. this was it ! i wanted a baby, but i was kinda nervous to tell my husband, cause he really wouldve wanted to know what had gotten into me and that would have probably detoured him from wanting to have sex, so i kept my feelings inside. gladly i snapped out of the baby fever !!! whew !!

im not saying that i wont ever fall into it again, tomorrow i may look into my husbands eyes while where in the middle of our session and feel like im ready for one again, im just saying it just dawned on me the other day that i just might not be "mommy material" yet. im soo busy thinking for everyone else, that i forget about me. ive gotten so bad that ill walk in the store, see something that i want, consider buying it but i dont because i seen a shirt that my sister will love or a watch that'll look good on my man. it probably doesnt make since to you while your reading this, but if i cant put myself first now, im going to be burnt out and ready to call quits on everything by the time the baby is 3 (ok maybe im thinking too hard into this), but seriously. i look at my mom and shes soo stressed, she doesnt even know what to do with herself because shes too busy caring for others. my mom got pregnant with me at 16 and shes now 36 with 4 more children and in her face you can just see that "tired" look on her face.

i just dont think im the right "mom" for the job right now... alot say i am, because im so generous and i think about everyone, so they KNOW my child will be well taken care of.. TRUE STORY my child will, promise you that, but will i ? when im confident enough to answer that question then thats when ill have my child :o)

Ladies pay attention

Ladies: please stop going to your friends regarding the issues that s going on in your relationship. you are not in a relationship with your friends. you are currently in a relationship with him. Therefore, talking to your friends instead of confronting him is not going to solve the problems. In fact, talking to your friends might end up destroying your relationship and make you lose a good man who truly loved and cared about you in a way that no other man will. If there is any sort of lack of communication between you and your partner, it is essential that you and him both work on it because without good communication, confession, trust, respect for each other feelings or opinions, there is no relationship. confess your feelings to him doesn't necessarily means that you are complaining, he s not a good man, or he is not treating you right. it simply means that you highly valued your relationship, want to make the relationship work with him, want him to be a lover to you and also a best friend that you can talk to about anything without getting in an argument

things you cant do once your married

1) Get drag-out, stumble-down drunk: there is nothing sexy about stumbling out of a bar or club. Getting this out of your system is the purpose of a men/women party.(personally i wouldnt even drink & have strippers nd ish at mines)
2)Sleepovers with the girls/guys: When you’re single you can stay out late, stay up chatting at your girls/boys house and crash. Not when you’re married !. You have a husband/wife, a household. Only on rare, if ever, occasions should you be out so late that you “can’t make it” home. GNO’s(girls night out), v-cations, and other girls-only/men-only overnight activities are very limited for married couples, (not saying u cant to do, just dont over do it). If you’re itching to be away from home, alone, you and your spouse have some things to work out.
3)Go to the club dressed like a video model (women) :s it going to be the boobs or butt? Pick one but not both. A married woman should be sexy not hoe-ish,Your husband won’t mind other men getting a sneak peek (well mines do, and i dont mind the way he feels), but he's not okay with them getting the full coverage.
4)Solo dinner dates with men: may be done for business purposes or with a long-time friend with the best of intentions, but it gives off the wrong vibe. Outsiders, who may see you out, call your husband/wife and bring drama to your home. Not worth it. Lunch is much more appropriate and professional for solo male-female meetings(but please call your spouse before you do anything).
5)“Network” after 10PM :  its not okay for you to be facebooking when your man/woman just walked in from a long day of work, put your phone on the charger and give them the time and attention they deserve. 
6)Buy shoes/clothes instead of paying bills :Late and missed bill payments have an adverse effect you and your spouse. In marriage, “we” comes before “I” when making decisions.
* these are the things that i see & hear from married people, and what i feel ruins most relationships... make every day like its your "first time" put God first and your marriage will be okay :)

One less lonely girl

Long distance relationships aren't as easy I thought it was. The moments I can't hear from you are the moments that take my breath away.
I honestly hate my past relationships. They cause insecurity within myself. It's always questions that run through my mind that in reality scare me. It's always where is he?? Who is he with?? What is he doing?? The possibility of answers make me hurt so bad.
It's not that I don't trust him, I trust my man its just the insecurity within myself.
Why am I doing this to myself?? To him?? I don't know why. No man should have to suffer from a "past" when he could be the one trying to make a future. Now he has to sit and deal with a broken heart that he has to mend? That's unfair! , I'm on the phone upset with him over something I think he could've been doing but he isint.
I know that I love him and wouldn't think twice about it, I've never a acted like this before ! I fein for his attention and when I have it I feel like one less lonely girl, but when I call only to go to voicemail I go crazy.
How many I told ya and start overs and shoulders have I cried on before?
How many promises, let's be honest, how many tears have I let hit the floor.
How many bags have I packed just to take a guy back, lettme tell u that how many either ors?
Theirs no more since I let him inside my world ! I have a great man I hope he knows it I'm one less lonely girl !